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Although there have been 6 break-ins, 1 hold up and 1 vehicle theft in the past month  within a 3 block radius our single family home neighborhood in Riverdale so far, is safe enough. There’s plenty to love about being in a big city with so much history, and industry but this aspect is only sad.  It’s a place where different worlds can exist just streets apart. In the past 12 days, there have been 5 homicides within a 3 mile radius of our home, and 12 total in the county. Happy New Year!? Last year, there were 91 homicides in our county (Prince George’s). Sound bad? That’s almost half (down from 173) of those in 2005.

Here’s a map with this year’s damages; shaded part is our county. http://burgersub.org/murders2011.htm?lat=38.961719&lng=-76.883464&zoom=11&county=4&town=45

Below are links to maps with all of the homicides for the area plotted for 2010.

http://burgersub.org/murders2010.htm?lat=38.961719&lng=-76.883464&zoom=12&county=4&town=45

  

Everyone needs their own space. A place where you go to feel inspired, to be yourself, to think and expand. A bedroom, a studio, a garden, an office, a bathtub, a corner of the back yard, where you feel most at home. In Michigan it was my garden, the partially sunny spot next to my hydrangea.  I haven't really found that special place in our new home yet, and I'm not sure if it's even possible to stage. That said, I sure do love Liam's room. Maybe it's because of the overflowing dress up box with pirate hooks, tutus, & fireman hats.  It could be the dinosaurs that he makes eat up all the fairies, mice and cats. . . .  It's probably just the cute kids that give it the cool vibes.

Over the past year. . . . .

A year’s worth of memories is a lot to think about. As 2010 winds down and a 2011 clean slate arrives I want to look back and remember what I experienced this year. I want to trace my life and see how I’ve been marked by the passage of another year.  I want to be able to convince myself that I am qualitatively better than I was 12 months ago. ....

Over the past year I:

•  Experienced the beautiful birth of my second child.  With Elsie's arrival has come an unexpected renewal of life, motivation, and energy.
• Kept my house clean , clean, uber, clean for 6 months straight (Yes, since moving I've lapsed a bit but I'm still on top)
• Let go of:  3 station wagons full of junk, a few unrealistic expectations and insecurities, (non)exercise induced guilt, & "what if"s 
• Was introduced to: city life, being a racial minority, sushi, the LDS "bloggernacle," C-SPAN, Whole Foods, berry cobblers, crab cakes, and paper plates (my new 'secret' weapon in house keeping)
• Grieved over: the loss of my grandmother, the dejected Michigan housing market, and the death of my rabbit, .
• Said goodbye to: supportive friends in Michigan, a flexible job, my deliberately nurtured perennial flowers, my kitchen & its expansive counter space.
• Cherished the memories of: playing in the park with Liam, having family visit our home, going running with Liam beside me on his scooter, exciting D.C. weekend family field trips to sophisticated, yet free destinations.
• Celebrated:  Brady's masters degree, selling our home, Elsie, Liam's Birthday (it's consistently the funnest day of the year)

 2010 will be a year that my memory will selectively archive.   The sweet, even euphoric, times I plan to cherish and recollect for years.  The stressful memories will be banished.

In 2011 I plan to be a more creative, loving, individual. I plan on relinquishing excess baggage (both real and psychological ) and being more thoughtful.  I plan on chopping more vegetables and doing fewer Google searches.  i plan on frequently enumerating blessings and being more accepting of myself and others. I plan on doing less looking ahead and more reveling in the here and now. 

This picture by Cassandra Barney is named "Stand Where Your Feet Are," a reminder to enjoy the moment.

Christmas Magic

As we enter adulthood it's easy to loose the magic of Christmas. Then as we have children and experience Christmas with them we find the mystery and suspense returns.
     Our favorite parts of Christmas were watching Liam open his presents, giving his gingerbread man offering to Santa, and listening for Santa's tip toeing.

Elsie at 7 months couldn't care less about Christmas. In her naive oblivion she crawled into the middle of the present opening and sucked on a spatula, smiling and happy as can be.

There are few annual experiences more blissful than squeezing around a big dinner table with family on Christmas Eve and enjoying the aroma of good food and the anticipation of Christmas morning. It's a soul- comforting feeling. I wish I could get a dose of it every day of the year.

Thanks to Brady's mom, Leisa for the fantastic photos!!

sizing women up

This week I stepped into a gym for the first time in months and nearly ran out the door as fast as I came in.  Posted on the walls were pictures of women in bikinis. There were racks upon racks of chemical supplements with who-knows-what in them. There were managers at the front desk without any social intelligence and people being pressured to buy products and services they couldn't afford.

My degree is in Exercise Science and I have worked over the last 6 years as a personal trainer.  I love helping people be healthy. But this place, this sad, sad, place could be considered anything but "healthy."

Don't get me wrong, I love to lift weights, I love to run, and I see a need for gyms. But I do not see the need to support a place that thrives on insecurity. I quickly left my resume on the front desk and haven't returned their phone call.

I have had countless women clients that have come to me hoping that I can seemingly solve all their problems if I could only make them small and sexy. Many women, of all ages, are misguided to believe that if they are skinny, tan and busty they will inevitably be happy. It is as if they erroneously believe that if they are attractive enough they can inveigle out of men the happiness they want from life. It’s sick.

“Skinny” does not hold the monopoly on success, attractiveness, or fulfillment. It is disgusting the assumptions we make about people, particularly women, as we size them up by weight.

It seems that many times the fat we carry around has much less to do with how ‘lazy’ or ‘motivated’ we are and much more with the emotional and physical stressors that we encounter (having children, emotional eating to cope with life, illness…). Our escalated weight is often a reflection of our priorities being transferred from own selves to other competing interests family, work, school. . . none of which we should be ashamed of.

The world would be a better place if people felt comfortable in their own skin and people gave others that same privilege.



Don't think I've gone all "angry feminist." This clip touches on a relating subject in a totally brazen, apologize- in-advance, kinda way. But somehow, I like it.

Liam Quotes

Liam quoteables:

Liam-" Do Reindeer REALLY fly?! . . . . . . No!!"
Mom- "Well then how does Santa pulls his sled?"

Liam. "A magic sleigh . .  . .(long pause )..  Are sleighs REALLY magic?!
(Mom quickly changes the subject before his thoughts can wander any more)

 "Mom we better not park in that "no parking"spot or else Santa, Jesus, the police, and dad will be very angry."

"Mom how do we get Ariel the Mermaid out of the TV so I can marry her?"
"Dad do you think that if you and me put some big holes in the TV, that we could break into the movie and make sure Ariel marries her true love [Liam] and not Prince Eric. Maybe that would work."
 
 Liam was coughing in his bed. I asked him "Are you feeling sick?" He replied, "Yeah, I'm sick of this attitude!" (He really does have a cold and doesn't really know what that means, but apparently he's heard it plenty!)

At the end of reading The Polar Express, when the kid gets the bell: "What?! He wanted a bell? He's at the North Pole! He could have gotten ALL of the Toy Story toys!!"

On less exciting fronts, Brady and I are in charge of our ward Christmas Party.  (Our ward was just combined so it's gigantic and no one knows each other.) The other people assigned went out of town and so it's been kinda a two-man show. . . . It's tomorrow and we can't wait to get it over with!!

Making Pie and Remembering the Dead

I was making a Thanksgiving peanut butter pie when wet, watery tears took me by surprise and started jumping down my face. My Grandma  Hazel has already been dead for 6 months and although I know grief comes in waves, this sudden burst of emotion ambushed me.  My impromptu crying was a sign that I was reluctant to have a Thanksgiving without her.  It was also a praise of gratitude.  My grandma Hazel had a way of making everyone feel nurtured, favored, and remembered no matter how far away they lived from grandmother's house.  (My mother, my sister, and cousin all had similar experiences while cooking sweet potatoes, acini di pepe pasta, & rainbow jello.)

It is interesting what we remember about our deceased loved ones after they're gone, what sparks their memories, and how we pay respect to and connect with them.

As a life long church goer and follower I'd like to think that I know more than the average Joe about where we go and what happens after we die. Even then we know very little, and in relative terms, almost nothing, about the after life. Heaven is a mysterious place.

Even though I know it probably doesn't work, I'll admit, sometimes I've looked towards to the sky and spoken "Grandma, if your listening.. . . " and asked her a question or told her a thought.

I'll even fess up to doing such unorthodox things as asking God in a prayer to have a message delivered. .... It was worth a shot right? :)

This past summer serving on the DeWitt City Parks, Rec, & Cemetery Commission I was on the task force to recreate the DeWitt City cemetary rules.  The Mayor wanted to return the historic cemetery to its traditional state by banning the placing of anything, yes anything, on graves.  Loved ones with children in the cemetery were distraught that they would no longer be able to adorn headstones with mementos, gifts, flowers & balloons.It lead to plenty of fighting, sleep lost, and tears shed in public from both sides of the argument.  One thing that I learned was that each persons way of grieving is distinct, individual and fluid.  There is no one right way to pay remembrance to someone.

I've thought at great length how I can subtly and respectfully memorialize my Grandma Hazel- warming my children in the blankets she crocheted, using her hand written roll recipe, attending the temple, using gifts she left to me in her will.  After those thoughts came the epiphany that the best way I can  honor her is being my best self. It is by enjoying life, by embracing myself (flaws and all) and loving others without inhibition.  Those were the qualities she exuded in life and above all that's what, for me, I have decided it will mean to "remember" her. 

What helps you remember and connect to your deceased loved ones?