Christmas

A proxy hug

      I thought I saw my grandma today. My Grandma Hazel has been dead for 3 years, so it obviously wasn't her.  Yet the resemblance was so jarring, so wonderfully similar, I stopped walking, I glanced again, and then I froze still.  At the end of a hallway in the Logan temple stood a little white-haired grandma so reminiscent of my little old white-haired grandma, that I felt drawn to her. I felt compelled to see her close up.The stranger grandma, without hardly a word spoken, let me give her a long hug. She wasn't uncomfortable when I shed a few tears.
     She looked like my grandma, she smelled like my grandma, her warm, genuine, hug even felt just like Grandma Hazel.  Then we smiled at each other and I walked away. I know that she wasn't my real grandma but it felt satisfying, just for those few minutes, to have Grandma back again.

Christmas baby photos

Brady's sister was in D.C. for a school trip and our worlds collided for a few hours downtown. I love living at a place that people visit, a place worth visiting.

 For Thanksgiving, while Brady was in England, we went to see Frozen in 3D (twice actually.) Elsie dressed up Layney as "the secret agent baby."

Brady is utterly exhausted from traveling. He still has a trip to Utah and Israel this next month.

I keep a list of lofty life ambitions written on my computer desktop.  It’s strategically placed to motivate me with goals like “Get my doctorate,” “Watch a World Cup live,” and yes, “Go to Istanbul.”

Without years of fantasizing, Brady just up and went to Istanbul this past month. Now, I’m not a covetous person, I recognize we each have our own perks, and jealousy usually passes right over me.  But sometimes when you’re perpetually exhausted, stressing over kids dripping in cold symptoms, and your other half is off experiencing the treasures of the world, yes, you feel a bit left behind.

I’m genuinely glad that fate and a business trip brought Brady to Istanbul. It was good medicine for him to take a break and a step back from life.  It was inspirational to see the beauties of the ancient world, to be provoked by novel sights, sounds and thoughts. Plus, he brought us back a huge brick of Turkish delight.

So, if it ever seems like someone is stealing your dream, my best advice is this: do nothing, just let them. Most goals are not mutually exclusive and there is enough fulfillment in this world to feed us all. Sure, the lucky dog may, and probably will, steal some of your magic. But, when it comes down to it, if you’re not doing something extraordinary, then someone else probably should.

 

Love, Everywhere

It is hard to see God in death. It seems impossible to detect Him in tragedy and it's natural to ask ''Where was God?" after unbearable things happen. As much as I unquestioningly love God, I have asked this about Davis' unexpected death.  For the being that created the world it would've been so easy, so reasonable, so effortless, to save just one life. 

But during those slow moving days that sandwiched the funeral, as I sat in the home of Davis' family, I saw that God hadn't just checked out and sat by to watch.  I felt traces of God everywhere. 

God was there in the tender embraces given to the bereaved by neighbors, friends, patients, and those who came to mourn in unity. God was the fridge full of soups.  God was in the acts of service- leaf blowing, babysitting, car detailing, slideshow, photo-making.  I witnessed Gods love when I observed the long,  streaming, line of people waiting to pay respects at the viewing. God was the strength of the family as they bravely spoke at the funeral. God was in the cookies, the gifted loaves of bread, the flowers that stacked up on the piano. God was all around.
  
I believe you can see God when you see love.