Kid Forts

There must be something about deliberately arranged pillows that kids find irresistible.  I know this because I spend an unreasonable amount of time straightening pillows. On Sundays they make forts and derive a new world out of the contents of our sofa. They scheme and construct, and before I know it, hours have passed.

 

"What kids REALLY think about adults" or "No one likes a lunch lady"

  Deflating experiences with lunch ladies are part of being a kid.  Liam, sadly, is not immune.  Upon hearing his stories I say an empathetic “it’s nothing personal.” .Lunch ladies make people feel dumb, it’s just how it is.  They will treat you the same way regardless of if you are 6 or 16 (or probably 30.)

One minute they have crazy- eyed, fake smiles plastered to their face, and the next moment they snap. It can be over something ridiculous, like reaching for an apple you genuinely thought belonged to your lunch. It could be for asking to swap for chocolate milk. For honest, reasonable, mistakes they pretend to be disgusted, raging mad.  When this happens there is nothing you can do but feel sheepish, like a dolt, and slink away. I’m sure the appeal of being a lunch lady has little to do with handing out food or kids. It’s all ego.

From a casual car conversation with Liam and Elsie I gleaned that lunch ladies reflect every repulsive adult trait.  I also concluded that the precise opposite of a lunch lady is a grandparent.

Our talk shifted to the subject of adults.  Adults are allowed to vocalize what they don’t like about kids- they sometimes smell like socks, they make obnoxious noises, they pester . . . but it’s rare to hear kids speak objectively about grown-ups.  When asked about the pros and cons of adults Liam and Elsie revealed,

What kids like about adults-

“They are the ones that have candy and cake.”

“Some of them are very nice- like mom and dad. Grandma, Grandpa, Nana, Papa, Madame Sylla . . .”

“They get to drive cars.”

“Sometimes they buy you Legos”

“They help”

What kids don’t like about adults

“Lunch ladies”

“They do boring things”

“They stop us from watching movies.”

“They don’t run and they always slow down and walk . Then they make us go slow too” (Liam) ”They don’t have fast legs like mine.” (Elsie)

So to sum it up- it’s fine to be an adult, just don’t be a lunch lady. 

consuming happy moments

“Listen to it, feel it, memorize it, get it in your head.”

My orchestra conductor is a fastidious tuner. He spouts off reminders like this before the oboe plays his ‘A’. When he tunes the orchestra he closes his eyes, breathes in, goes still, and listens for perfect pitch.   When the right sound peaks through, when dissonance clears, he opens his eyes and smiles with the same enlightened expression one makes between bites of crème brulee.  Before we start playing any notes he demands that we have flawless-sounding open strings. Sometimes we’ll play a song, then obsessively re-tune.  Before layers of notes are added, before the sounds become involved, there is value in listening to the simplicity of one perfect note. 

Life is full of buzz.   I’m convinced we need to pause, feel, and then consume more of our minutes.  When I do this I am surprised at the number of blissful, unfiltered, happy moments that come my way. They pop-up unexpectedly and are sandwiched amongst the mundane.  Sometimes these slices of euphoria come when my baby laughs, when Liam braids my hair, or when Elsie sings so loud her voice cracks.  Most happy moments get lost in my jumble of memories.  But occasionally, I relish them and I allow them to anchor me.  Just like a conductor listening for perfect pitch, these glimpses of happiness can become moments of clarity. They can be times where we say to ourselves, “This. This is what my life is all about.”  So maybe we can’t have perfect lives, but we can all breathe in perfect moments. I'll settle for that.

 

A Russian Mess

                                    

I have a special place in my heart reserved for Ukraine. This week that spot is sad, confused, and a tiny bit amused.  I’ve read the news with concern and seen the flames, the bloodshed, and then the Russians appearing with troops and flags on the Crimean Peninsula.  I laughed at pictures of random citizens golfing on the ex- president’s lawn, now left unguarded. Because I studied Russian and lived in Kiev for a semester Ukraine fascinates me, even on its most boring days.  

When I was there Ukrainians would always ask me, “What do Americans think about Ukrainians?” If I were to be honest I would have told them this-  American’s don’t EVER think about Ukrainians.  In fact, I’ve often thought Ukraine could probably peacefully drift off into the Black Sea and Americans wouldn’t notice.  This week proved me wrong.  Hell ripped through Ukraine and yes, Americans did take notice.

As Americans we conceptually just throw Ukraine into the bag of Russian things.  Which is no big deal since any stereotype you’ll throw at a Russian will work perfectly fine on a Ukrainian.  But, when Putin tries to throw Ukraine (via Crimea) literally back into the bag of Russian things, it gets sticky. 

This scuffle is more complicated, and deeper, than what you see on TV.  It’s more than just good vs. bad, big country vs. little country. Despite geographic borders, the Russian/Ukraine line is blurry to everyone.  The language spoken in Kiev is a perfect analogy of this.  Spend a day in Kiev and you’ll hear an utterly confusing mix of both Russian and Ukrainian. If you want to buy a meat pie on the street from the pocket of a bag-lady you’ll probably speak Russian. If you read a metro sign, it’s in Ukrainian.  If you read food packaging, it’s in Russian. If you listen to men at church, you’ll hear Russian. If you listen to women at church, it’s often Ukrainian.  Consequently, it’s as if Ukrainians aren’t sure how “Ukrainian” they really are. But that doesn't mean that they think that they're Russian.

Russia perceives Ukraine as broken-off piece of themselves, particularly the contested Crimean Peninsula, .  The fact that Russian flags are being raised in areas of Ukraine isn’t shocking to me at all. As far as Russia is concerned, Crimea has always really been theirs. The Crimean peninsula is a place deeply embedded in Russia's history and national identity.  It contains sites like Sevastopol where victorious Russian battles were won.  To them it’s as 'Russian' as Plymouth Rock is 'American.' Khrushchev gave Crimea to Ukraine in the '50s when they were one, big, happy, motherland. The act was done without fanfare and the shift in ownership seemed irrelevant. It was never meant ‘for keeps.’ But this new, Anti- Russian government says that when the Russian Black Sea Fleet lease ends in a few years, there will be no extension. That would mean for the first time in world history, the Russians will not be welcomed in Crimea.  This both threatens and scares Putin. 

I once broke up with a boyfriend who, despite my astounding clarity, didn’t really believe we’d broken up. This created problems. He thought we’d still get back together, in my mind we were done, finished, gone.   Even when our lives had deliberately taken different directions, he still showed up at my house. Russia is like the misguided boyfriend here-- thinking that despite boundaries, borders, and through nasty disputes, that they’re still an ‘item’ with Ukraine. I once had a Ukrainian describe Russia/Ukraine as a “big brother/little sister relationship”. It really did seem an apt description, up until Russia pulled out AK-47s.

These two countries have a sentimental hold on me and I’d like to see them come to a peaceful agreement. Twenty-five percent of Ukrainians identify themselves as ethnic ‘Russian’ and their history, economy, borders, religion, and people are so intertwined.  Conflict will only wear away a people that already feel beat down.  Ukrainians have long been divided regarding how much Russian influence they should permit. Western Ukrainians have never been lovers of Russia. Eastern Ukrainians were raised on Russian language, food, and thoughts.  The Western Ukraine vs. Eastern Ukraine vs Russia fight could get messy.  I’m hoping they can find a solution from a simple, diplomatic turn of events.  And because I can’t help but love those stern, high cheek -boned goons, I’m rooting for them all.

For your listening pleasure, a little Ukrainian techno. 

My ears couldn’t seem to escape this song when I was in Kiev. It was ubiquitous- in metro stations, stores, homes.  It seems fitting to have this tag along on this post too. The jist is “One people at the table. . .one love. . .one Ukraine.”