A day at the horses

       Elsie's perfect day would be an afternoon of licking the icing off cupcakes and watching horses. Saturday her dream came true. 

      Elsie obsesses over horses.We play pretend horse where she makes horse sounds, eats horse food and trots. We watch youtube horse slideshows. We read book after book where she points to horses and smiles.  

Opening the door to winter

I've never yet met a winter I really liked. He's an unwanted guest and by the time he leaves he's always overstayed his welcome.

He sneaks up on me every year.  He disguises himself with white sparkly lights, and delicious holiday memories. I don't even notice he's here until it's too late.

I can't escape him. I stay inside and sit huddled next to the warmth of the heater clenching my library books. I warm my hands with mugs of hot cocoa dolloped with cream. I stay in the steamy bath long enough to feel my fingers wrinkle and my water grow chilly. From each room of the house I look out the frosty window to see the cold waiting for me.  He waits to pounce on me, nip at my ankles, and numb my fingers.

Every year winter freezes me. The short days stunt my ambition. I stop running, I stop gardening. I stop lingering outside on long, strolling walks.  I stop playing and I slow  to a hault.
Then I wait, and wait, and wait, for spring.

Maybe this year I'll try opening up my door and inviting him in. Maybe then he won't be so hostile.

My life feels easy right now.   Every morning I wake up happy and in the evening I go to sleep feeling content.  I feel comfortable with where I’m in life and what I’m doing.  Days have slowed down to skipping pace.  I feel like I am savoring the sweetness of my beautiful children. I feel Gods love heaped upon me.  It feels like a cushy, warm blanket.  I still have stress I’m working through (my grandmas recent passing, STILL being a poor college student) but I feel like my prayers get answered at super lightning speed. I feel like God and I are tight.

My old ipod was recently resurrected, 3 years after a repair shop declared it dead . It suffered a slow death in a pile of rain drenched leaves in Michigan.  It lived in junk drawers but never quite made it to the trash.  Then this past week Elsie found it, carried it around, and begged me to plug it in. Miraculously it worked. I revisited a song I hadn’t heard in years. Here it is-

*****“When you least Expect it” by Hilary Weeks

It’s been raining for days, no sign of it letting up. All I can think about is how much I miss the sun.

The sound is almost hypnotizing, pounding on the pavement. Drop by drop I forget how good the sun feels of my face. Then through the shadows, beyond the clouds, a ray of light hits my window.  I can’t believe it, but I can see it right in front of my eyes.

That’s when it happens, when you least expect it. When you feel like the storm will never end. That’s when it happens. Light cuts through the darkness and heaven surprises you.

When you least expect it.

I quit counting the hours I’ve prayed for answers. I can’t help wondering how long will I have to wait. Why is heaven silent while I’m running out of words. I keep on knocking but nobody hears me standing at the door. 

Then through the shadows, beyond the doubt, heaven sends the answer.

And that’s when it happens, when you least expect it.  When you know God has heard every prayer. That’s when it happens. Love breaks through the darkness and heaven surprises you. When you least expect it.*****

It made me think about lessons I’ve learned.  God is always there for us, he has blessings waiting for us up his sleeve, we just need to be patient.  He knows us and loves us, he lets us fall on our face but then he’s there to pick us up. 

I have very distinct memories of a few years back feeling like I had spent entirely too much time on my knees and at church for my life to be so gut wrenching and painful.  I felt ripped off. I waited, and waited, and waited, for things to get easier.  They didn’t.  One lame day at a time I worked and waded through my problems. But then suddenly, out of nowhere and without doing a thing, it became easier to breath.  Suddenly, I wasn’t sinking.  Problems weren’t solved but my ability to handle them from that day on increased dramatically. Suddenly I could relent, relax, and let go.

Things have been much more smooth sailing since. And now I’m in a place where sad days seem far away. I’m at a place where I can see Gods hand in my life as clearly.

I’m not sure what to attribute my abrupt bought of grace to but I have come to suspect that maybe it’s just how God and life works, in big sudden pay offs.  Sometimes Gods timing sucks.  He seems a little late to the game, but that’s just how he plays and He still gets MVP every time.  Life is full of suprises for good and bad, but mainly for good.

cool kid quotes

"For my birthday when I'm five I'm going to have a Darth Vadar pinata. For Elsie's party she can have a Jesus pinata, 'cause that's what she likes. Also, 'cause Jesus likes kids."

Liam:Papa Richard is going to catch me a unicorn.
Mom: Really?? How's he going to do that?
Liam:  Just because he's tricky.

"I'm sneakier than an Indian in the woods
This is how you be sneakier... First thing- hide behind trees.
Next- be faster than the white guys"
(All the while he is running from tree to tree and hiding at the park)

The view of a 4 year old

We let Liam take our old camera for the day and here is what he came up with:

A Church for Rockstars

Not everyone loves Mormons, but what average Joe doesn’t love a good looking rockstar?  
 

I think this is probably what the PR of the LDS church was thinking this week as Brandon Flowers of popular band the "The Killers" jumped into the ‘Mormons are Christians” argument as the star of the church’s “I am a Mormon” campaign.

Mormons are gushing over the LDS lead singer and his youtube video.  It seems like friends are talking it up and in the last 4 days nearly 50,000 people have shared this video on facebook. 

The ads, which seek to extinguish harsh stereotypes, include auspicious professionals, underrepresented blacks, working women, and artists.  But here when they included Brandon Flowers on board I’d like to think the church is laying claim to a new category – flawed and even edgy. 

Brandon has settled down and outgrown both his black mascara and some of his risqué lyrics.  Just like any pop star though he has produced a few salacious music videos in the past which include a little artful but cheeky burlesque and some sweaty bedroom action. It’s a track record that makes him an unlikely poster boy. 

Last year when interviewed by The Telegraph he was asked about church and explained, “I can’t help but go for the good I guess. Especially after having children – I think, what kind of mark do I wanna leave? For the most part, that’s the person that I am. I think I’m a positive and optimistic person.” 

His words are nothing to be published in the Ensign but still are frank, honest, and easy to respect. 

In his 'I’m a Mormon’ ad he admits "A lot of people love to come up to me and tell me they were raised in the church. They expect there to be this camaraderie about, 'Oh, we've outgrown it now. We're smart enough now to not be in it.'

"It started happening so often that it really made me take a look at myself and I realized I was raised in it and there's still a fire burning in there."

I’d like to think that in accepting him in their PR campaign, the LDS church is saying “So what if a guy misses church, has a ‘part member family,' or doesn’t always “walk the walk.” If his heart is in the right place, we want him in the fold”   If you identify as a Mormon, we hear you. we recognize you. we claim you”  Basically if your family once believed it, you once practiced it, or it still has any place inside of you, we accept you.

I know some dismiss the entire ad series as only misleading.  Yes, we still have a long way to go until we reach our melting pot ideal. But wouldn’t we all love to see the church go more in this direction?  I attend a DC area ward that actually happens to resemble those “I am a Mormon” ads.  It’s a breath of fresh air to see a large population of blacks, educated mothers, artists, and immigrants in the congregation on Sunday.  Two women with Phds teach our Sunday school. Maybe things are slowly morphing.  

I’d like to applaud this step in the right direction. Even if it’s a baby step. From where I stand, Latter Day Saints are becoming more inclusive.                                                                                                                                                                                         

Of course, like any LDS in the spotlight, Brandon Flowers is receiving some public criticism for this little stunt.  Some Mormons aren’t missing the chance to label him an unfit example.  Other non-LDS fans see him losing his edge and going soft. I say we stop the conjecture and just let him be who he is- a worldwide star, ”A father, a husband, a Mormon.”

I can't seem to get enough of these lazy fall days. I'm working minimally and enjoy teaching Liam pre-school and Elsie her baby signs/new words.  Liam has been playing kung fu panda non stop for the last 4 weeks and sings "Kung fu Fighting," and brings a 'kung fu' stick everywhere he goes. The 'pig day' was a book signing at the zoo.

Liam quotes

"Long, long time ago before there were indians, there were Strom Troopers."

"The cool thing about Vikings is they never have to go to the bathroom."   "I saw it on a movie."

"Can Ninjas pee standing up?"

"Mom, your hair looks weird. You look like a Russian. (P.S. I love Russians so luckily I wasn't offended)

"Mom, you're as important as the sun to me."

"Mom, if I was big, I would buy you flowers. Whatever kinds you want"